If you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating on you, your relationship is probably on thin ice. But perhaps you don’t want to accuse him until you have proof of an affair. Here are several methods you can use to gather evidence and find out if your hunch is correct.
Notice if his sleeping habits or daily schedule start to change. If your boyfriend is usually in bed by 9 and is suddenly out all night or sneaking around the house late at night, this may be a sign of cheating.
- Similarly, if he usually sticks to a set routine of going to the gym in the morning or heading home from the office by 5, but he is now sleeping in or staying at the office late, these adjustments in his daily schedule could hint at time spent elsewhere, possibly in the company of someone else
Ask yourself if he seems more distracted or distant. If he is usually a very attentive, supportive partner who asks you how your day is and enjoys having long conversations with you over dinner, and then suddenly appears uninterested in your day or bored by long conversations with you, this may be a sign his interest or engagement is focused elsewhere and not on you.
- Your partner may also lose interest in domestic activities like spending time with the kids, fixing up the house, mowing the lawn, etc.
- He may also spend more time on his phone texting or on the computer in private chat rooms or social media pages. If his phone or computer use goes up dramatically or if he becomes secretive about his phone or computer use, this may be a red flag.
Note any changes or shifts in your sex life. Perhaps there has been a decline in the amount of sex you are having or a strange, sudden increase in sexual activity, with new sexual preferences or tastes that you did not experience with him previously.
- You may start wondering where he learned a certain sexual move or what caused him to develop a certain preference in bed. One possible reason is he may be trying out new moves with someone else.
- He may also have a lower sex drive or spurn off your attempts at being intimate with excuses like “I’m tired,” or “Maybe another night.”
- Avoid following your boyfriend all the time or checking his phone or his computer everyday as you will likely get caught spying. If he is not cheating, these actions may backfire as he will likely doubt your trust in him and may consider calling off the relationship.
- Try not to get obsessed with finding evidence for cheating, as most cheats are exposed accidentally, rather than with a dramatic confrontation or accusation.
- Avoid harassment and stalking. If your boyfriend is losing interest, rather than assume the worst, have an honest look at yourself and what you are bringing to the relationship, then have a non-judgemental conversation with him and actually listen