According to plastic surgeons, cosmetic procedures for men in the UK have risen 200 per cent in the last decade and demand for intimate procedures is unprecedented.
Thanks to advances in cosmetic surgery, a range of cutting-edge injectables and implants mean that you can now be picture perfect for your next “belfie”.
The latest plastic surgery takes vanity to a new, ballsy level. The nonsurgical plastic procedure is “scrotox”, which is Botox shot into the scrotum. The procedure, which costs £400 to £650, takes a man’s prunes and turns them into plums. So why do men get their “balls done”? Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr Randal Haworth believes there are three reasons.
First: “It keeps the balls from sweating,” which is a big issues if you’re an athlete.
Second: “It makes the balls look bigger.”
And finally: “It gives the scrotum a more youthful look.”
The Botox “relaxes” the wrinkles. They also “tighten up and move closer” to the body, giving the old boys a lift. With scrotox, you’ll end up with the testes of a 12-year-old boy. The UK tends to be about three years behind the US in plastic surgery and scrotox is a relatively new procedure. Since it only lasts around four months, it’s not yet as popular as other procedures. That said, the procedure is coming to the UK soon and is predicted to be big.
The Brazilian butt lift
The second most popular procedure for men – after pectoral implants – is the Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL). Who gets this procedure? We asked Dr Matthew Schulman, a surgeon in New York City, who performs many of them. “About 75 per cent of men requesting BBLs are gay and looking to increase the size and roundness of their buttocks,” he says. “The other 25 per cent are straight men who complain that they have always had a flat butt.” The results are permanent. “The advantage of this procedure is that it also includes liposuction as a way of harvesting donor fat. This allows for simultaneous contouring of the hip flanks and abdomen.” Finally, a fat stomach that’s good for something.
Dr Schulman also notes that it’s a millennial phenomenon, with men aged between 20-35 requesting it the most. “The Kardashians have fuelled the increase in the procedure. Plus, Instagram has made us very conscious of how our body looks and there are plenty of photos of ideal butts.” A reality show changed the beauty aesthetic of the United States and started a body modification trend that has trickled down to men. At a recent Hollywood party, the prevailing look for women was thin with a big derriere, stuffed into a tight dress.
For thin men with no body fat to harvest, Dr Schulman also provides silicone butt implants, but says they are riskier and can cause infection and shifting. And you can’t sit down for three months until “the seeds are grown”, as Dr Schulman explains. But at nearly £7,000 for each procedure, at least you’ll have an ass like a Kardashian.
Brazilian Butt Lift from Elite Surgical costs from £6,700. elitesurgical.co.uk
The P-shot or the Priapus shot was named after the Greek god of fertility. The shot was pioneered by Dr Charles Runels, an American MD who specialises in sexuality issues. The patient’s blood is withdrawn, processed through a centrifuge to create platelet-rich plasma which contains growth factors. The process is used in sport medicine to rejuvenate torn ligaments. Dr Runels uses it to increase penis size by ten to 20 per cent and improve blood flow for a stronger, harder erection. Runels, the inventor of the Vampire Facelift says, “When I first started doing cosmetic procedures to sculpt the face, it occurred to me that it would be wonderful to do the same thing to the penis.”
A study in the Journal Of Urology researching new therapies for erectile dysfunction found that “neovascularisation using vascular growth factors have been demonstrated to be feasible in animal models”. So if you inject growth factors into a human penis, it’ll grow new tissue and blood vessels and you will end up with a cock the size of a horse (probably).
In 2016, a gift certificate worth £1,375 was placed in the Oscar swag bags of nominees up for Best Actor In A Leading Role and Supporting Role, which included Michael Fassbender and Leonardo DiCaprio. “The ‘penis rejuvenation’ shot promises a bigger and firmer trouser trophy. It lasts 18 months, which gives time to be up for Best Erection In A Leading Role.
P-shot costs from £1,000. pshot.co.uk
The penis implant
The equivalent of breast implants, the penis implant has finally popped up as a surgical option. Unlike the penile implant used for erectile dysfunction, this invention is for looks only. A silicone sheath wraps around the shaft to make it 2.5-4cm wider and longer. To be a candidate for the new penis implant, you can’t have diabetes and can’t be taking a blood thinner. And you have to be circumcised first, which is a great deal if you’re Jewish.
The implant was invented in 2003, and since then only one doctor, Dr James Elist, a urologist and plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, does the surgery. He has performed over 1,300 experimental operations, with what he says is a 95 per cent satisfaction rate. He is waiting for final FDA approval so he can license his product globally, so men around the world will go from having a small one to having a suitable-for-a-dick-pic one. If and when that happens, the penis implant will be the next big thing.
A penis implant from International Andrology costs from £6,900.